Nicki Minaj has built her entire career on the idea of being strong and empowered, and taking absolutely no B.S. from anyone — especially not from any men. This week, she shared a few previews from her upcoming documentary Queen on Instagram, saying in them how her take-no-prisoners attitude stemmed from witnessing domestic violence in her childhood home and how it felt when she suddenly found herself in a similar situation.

“I remember when my mother would let my father be violent with her, and she always brings up the story [that] as a little girl, I would stand in front of my mother and go like this,” an emotional Minaj says in one clip, holding her arms out wide in a protective stance. “That’s why maybe some people would describe me as abrasive or b*tchy or whatever, because I vowed from that age, no man would ever abuse me, call me out my name, treat me like that. And then all of a sudden, that was my life,” she continues, adding that everything she’d vowed would never happen seemed to happen.

Though Minaj doesn’t share any further details about the situation, she speaks about its aftermath in a second clip, discussing how difficult it was to start working on her latest album. “Who was I gonna inspire when I had nothing in me to give? Like, I let one human being make me so low that, like, I didn’t even remember who I was,” she says. “I was scared to get in the studio. Like, I didn’t believe in myself.” Fortunately, after relocating to Miami, “I started catching a vibe.” And when another vibe sent her to New York, everything that would later become Queen began to flow. “It started being incredible,” she said.

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